Banned Books Week may have ended, but we are still vulnerable to the threats of spiny beasts with leaves. Moments after the above photo was taken, this page of Dr. Seuss's Hop on Pop ran red with the innocent blood of a small child, otherwise known as my son.
At least Pat had received ample warning not to sit on the cactus, but my poor son moved finger-first into a tactile attack perpetrated by the likes of a so-called "Good Doctor."
Three stitches from a real doctor healed his finger, but one carelessly-placed cactus needle has forever torn apart the faith my son and I held in books as a safe haven for the imagination.
It may come as no surprise to you, then, that my son and I now feel called upon to crusade against such dangerous books in an attempt to protect and preserve a child's right to read without risk.
Please note the lists we have begun below. We need your help in adding to them. If there are categories lacking, please post descriptions and any other input in the comments section. Please help ensure a safe future for the world's youth.
Picture Books Containing Prickly Plants
Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss (paddle cactus, long sharp needles)
Yellowbelly and Plum Go to School by Nathan Hale (pipe organ type, I believe, but we're doing further research; short, but thick and rigid needles; what's worse, these babies are mobile, don't say we didn't warn you.)
Picture Books Containing Fire (I know. How do these books pass inspection?)
Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson and Jane Chapman
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd. (Thanks to blog reader Jacqui for drawing our attention to this bedtime multiple offender-- look out for the possibly rabid mouse hidden on every double-page spread.)
Picture Books Containing Nail Scissors (extra-high hazard category)
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff and Felicia Bond (We thank blog reader Deb for this addition. As she states in the comments section, "mouse hyped up on milk and cookies running loose with NAIL SCISSORS." We hope Grandson and Gamma are recovering nicely.)